Monday was my first husband’s birthday.

I haven’t seen his sweet, crooked smile in seven years, since he died suddenly. Yet, the essence of that smile, the love it evoked, is as strong as ever.

I remembered that smile all day. The thought was peaceful and so very grateful.

I’m grateful whenever I see the echoes of that smile in my tall, slender daughter’s kind face.  She reminds me of him constantly and that is a blessing I never fail to count.  She pays forward his love.

Jim taught me to protect turtles, and I’m grateful for that. I move them off the road whenever I see them crossing, to prevent unfortunate accidents. Doing so reminds to be present to spirit in all of creation.

I’m grateful for the family I was welcomed into when we married. My heart is soft with respect and love for them.  The harmony they keep is special.

I’ so very grateful for the years we enjoyed together on the hill in Millstone, West Virginia. Times spent laughing and dining in warm country kitchens on snowy winter days with hill friends are like hot fudge sauce on the ice cream of my dearest memories. 

250,000 miles spent together on a Gold Wing Interstate motorcycle, touring back country all over the North American continent.  I’m so deeply grateful that we witnessed together the amazing beauty of this land. 

I kept his leather. Every once in a great while I just hold it and inhale the scent of it. In my imagination, I can still feel the warmth of the sun on it and his body in it.  That makes me smile.

I especially remember the trip around the Gaspe Peninsula in Canada. We cried together several times because the beauty was just almost too much to take in.

I’m grateful for the depth of his love and understanding. I know he would feel nothing but happiness that I am so in love with my new husband. He was just that way.  Jim would love Bill. They are cut from the same beautiful cloth, woven with love, peace and good humor: men of simplicity and uncommon wisdom. 

Jim’s life and death have been such a lesson: try to leave nothing behind but love and good will.  Such purity of feeling illuminates the path for those who must go forward with hearts broken open by the presence of the giver’s absence.

Jim’s birthday is my gift.  Thank you JP. You ARE remembered. Always.

Jim’s anniversary letter very tender and revealing of a loving relationship.
lois

Thank you, Lois.  It was really wonderful to remember Jim in this way.  He was a remarkable spirit!  His leave-taking certainly taught me that death has no power over love.  Tomorrow (Valentine’s Day) it will be four years since I met my second husband, Bill.  I have much to celebrate and feel grateful for.  Blessings to you for your comment!

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